Romney Presidential Campaign Weighs In On Stand Your Ground


Romney Presidential Campaign Embraces Electronic Monitoring Device Aimed To Quell 'Stand Your Ground' Uproar

Romney Presidential Campaign Embraces Electronic Monitoring Device Aimed To Quell 'Stand Your Ground' Uproar

In a move that has ruffled the feathers of the NRA and caused shockwaves throughout the nearly two dozen red states with “Stand Your Ground” laws on the books, Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign announced today that it supports a radical modification of the controversial “Stand Your Ground” law.

The modification, proposed by Republican Florida legislator Dennis Baxley, appears to be an attempt to quell the uproar over the shooting death of an unarmed teenager, Trayvon Martin, by self-appointed neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman. It calls for a mandate that would compel anyone who owns a gun to also purchase an EMD4000, an all-in-one electronic monitoring device nicknamed the “Doc Brown,” after the well-known character in the Back to the Future movies.

“It’s really an amazing invention,” said Romney presidential campaign manager Matt Rhoades. The device, he explained, features GPS to track and report at regular intervals the gun owner’s movements via satellite. Exclusion zones can be programmed into a map with a predetermined radius. This means the device will know the second the gun owner leaves “his ground.” In most cases, this would be the property he owns or rents. Or the bar he frequents.

If the gun owner does leave his ground with a gun in his possession, the police are notified immediately. At the same time, the gun owner is tasered into a state of temporary paralysis, usually lasting one hour. This corresponds to the average response time (ART) in Florida for police to respond to a crime involving a black victim and a white assailant. ART in cases involving white victims and black assailants is five minutes.

While Romney sees the Doc Brown as a major step forward in law enforcement, both the Santorum and Gingrich presidential campaigns have attacked the idea of a mandate, insisting that it is unconstitutional. “Isn’t this just what you’d expect from a Massachusetts moderate?” said a grimacing Gingrich. Added Santorum presidential campaign manager John Brabender, “I can’t think of a candidate who embodies ‘Stand Your Ground’ less that Governor Romney.”

In response, a cheerful Romney, addressing an overtly hostile NRA gathering, said, “I like being able to shoot people for bad service. I have a .357 magnum. In fact, my wife, she has a couple of AK-47s actually.”

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One Response to “Romney Presidential Campaign Weighs In On Stand Your Ground”

  1. Joanne Says:

    It does sound a little on the humanitarian side for Romney – just a little.

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