Gingrich Presidential Campaign Accepts Cinnamon Challenge


Greenville, SC— In a last ditch effort to revive his comatose presidential campaign, a confident Newt Gingrich attempted the Cinnamon Challenge in a packed auditorium at Bob Jones University yesterday.

Presidential campaign of Newt Gingrich in jeopardy as he fails Cinnamon Challenge

Presidential campaign of Newt Gingrich in jeopardy as he fails Cinnamon Challenge

Senior presidential campaign advisor Randy Evans revealed that Gingrich was “hooked” on the possibilities for resurrection when he learned that the video posted on YouTube of comedienne GloZell taking the Cinnamon Challenge had received more than 11 million views. But most significantly, it had garnered nearly 96,000 “likes” versus only 3,300 “dislikes.” Among every 100,000 voters, Evans noted, Gingrich’s “likes” and “dislikes” numbers are exactly the opposite. “So taking the Cinnamon Challenge was kind of a no-brainer for Next,” he said.

Unfortunately, to the dismay of hundreds of boisterous supporters inside the School of Intelligent Design lecture hall, Speaker Gingrich failed. There is no word yet if this means he will give it another go, or if he will finally drop out of the presidential campaign.

“I’m no quitter,” said an upbeat Gingrich after the event. He then puked again, this time into a bucket held by his wife Callista who smiled stoically. Word from campaign insiders is that Gingrich trained with professional fire-eaters and sword-swallowers for weeks prior to taking the Cinnamon Challenge. A near tragic mishap occurred just a few days into this training when Gingrich coughed, lost his balance, and almost fell on his own sword. Serendipitously, Gingrich’s billionaire political sugar daddy was on hand to catch Gingrich before any damage was done.

“I’ve thrown a great deal of money at this guy’s presidential campaign and I’m no gambler,” said casino magnate Adelson. “So naturally I want to protect my investment.” Gingrich, clearly grateful for Adelson’s support, bravely smiled and waved him out of the way as he continued barfing.

As for Gingrich’s rivals for the GOP nomination, the Romney presidential campaign had the least to say. While Governor Romney confessed that he admires Gingrich’s courage and tenacity and willingness to face tough challenges, he would make no attempt at the Cinnamon Challenge himself. He prefers his cinnamon on Belgian Waffles and Crêpe Suzettes.

Speaking on the presidential campaign trail in Delaware, Rick Santorum’s response was more graphic. “The whole thing is like President Kennedy apologizing for his religion,” he said, unable to hide his disgust. “It makes me want to puke, too.”

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