Gaga Keeps "Born This Way” From Romney Presidential Campaign


Mitt Romney raised on Gebber Caviar Puree

Georgetown, Grand Cayman — Mitt Romney took one on the chin today when he learned that Lady Gaga would not, under any circumstances, license the use of her hit song Born This Way to his presidential campaign, thus ending weeks of intense, sometimes acrimonious negotiations, during which Romney traveled to Switzerland four times, visiting six separate banks.

Mitt Romney’s sterling silver baby spoon still has stains from Gebber Caviar

Mitt Romney’s sterling silver baby spoon still has stains from Gebber Caviar

For a while, it seemed like everything was going Romney’s way. Rick Santorum’s exit from the presidential campaign cleared a path to the GOP nomination upon which Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul were reduced to mere speed bumps. Turning then to his Etch A Sketch mastermind, presidential campaign senior advisor Eric Fehrnstrom, Romney made the bold decision to embrace who he is: an empty suit with an enormous wallet who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

It was at this point that Fehrnstrom suggested to Romney that they secure the rights to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way for the Romney campaign theme song. But what seemed like a simple acquisition to businessman Romney turned into a nightmare. “Lady Gaga strung us along,” said a disgruntled Fehrnstrom, “If she wasn’t going to play ball, why didn’t she tell us that in the first place?”

Turns out, Lady Gaga, like Romney himself, likes to play with whom she eats for breakfast. “He offered me all the money in the world,” she said. “And I have no doubt he could deliver it. But when I refused, he offered me his soul.” She giggled. “Exactly. What soul?”

Later in the day, it was learned that Romney presidential campaign staffers had approached Right Said Fred in an effort to license I’m Too Sexy. According to a high-ranking source who wished to remain anonymous, the campaign asked Right Said Fred to re-record the song, replacing the lyric “I’m too sexy for my shirt” with “I’m too sexy for my jeans.”

As yet, no word of a deal has come from Right Said Fred who was last seen with Romney on Seven Mile Beach, a popular nude beach on Grand Cayman.

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6 Responses to “Gaga Keeps "Born This Way” From Romney Presidential Campaign”

  1. Tom Sisson Says:

    Ha ha, Mitt Romney on a nude beach.

  2. danbbrown Says:

    Well, you know, like I said, too sexy for his jeans! And what better way to say he no longer has anything to hide.

  3. danbbrown Says:

    Thanks very much. I hope you’ll keep following and sharing my blog.

  4. Hameza Says:

    The preblom isn’t that people just hate Republicans and conservatives. The preblom is that you guys picked the worst possible nominee. Ron Paul and Gary Johnson could have beat the crap out of Obama by just campaigning on Constitutionial Liberties. John Huntzman could have campaigned on being the moderate in the race willing to bring together both sides. But No you guys had to pick the guy with the most prebloms. Not to mention the guy who doesn’t know when to shut up. Was this answer helpful?

  5. danbrown Says:

    Interesting point of view.

  6. danbrown Says:

    I agree. Romney was a bad choice. Plus he was his own worst enemy.

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