Romney Dressage Horse Barred From Water Polo | Mitt Furious

There will be no Olympic medal for Rafalca, Romney dressage horse, in water polo.

There will be no Olympic medal for Rafalca, Romney dressage horse, in water polo.

London—It was a black day for the Romneys. After Rafalca, their Olympic dressage horse, finished well out of medal contention, Mitt and Ann Romney attempted to enter the animal in the Water Polo competition. But when a London Olympics official explained to the Romneys that water polo was in fact not played on horseback, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee threw a major hissy fit and told the Olympic official to “Kiss my ass!”

A brief scuffle ensued. The London Olympics security team, which had been preparing for seven long years for all manner of violent contingencies, subdued the enraged Romney in less time than a clueless American presidential candidate could insult America’s most loyal ally.

British Prime Minister David Cameron had nothing but high praise for the London Olympics security team, saying, “I hope this puts to rest Mr. Romney’s misplaced suggestion that Britain’s preparedness was lacking in any way whatsoever.” Cameron then added, “I’d tell Mr. Romney to ‘Kiss my you-know-what,’ but this is neither the time nor the place.” He suggested a more apt location for such a remark would be the tomb of an unknown soldier.

A hysterical Ann Romney was, like her husband, led away in manacles. “You people will pay!” she screamed. “As of this moment Mitt and I are retracting our bid to buy Buckingham Palace.” No formal charges have been filed against the Romneys. However, an unnamed but reliable British government official has said that the Romneys will likely be asked to self-deport.

Rafalca Romney is a 15-year-old Oldenburg mare. Her name means “tax deduction” in German. Despite her Olympic failure, she will not, according to Romney presidential campaign senior advisor Eric Fehrnstrom, be sold to Alpo.

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One Response to “Romney Dressage Horse Barred From Water Polo | Mitt Furious”

  1. danbbrown Says:

    We’ll at least she’s too big to be transported on the roof of a car. We can be thankful for that.

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