Fox News Admits Statements of Idiocy, Not Idiotic Statements


Professor Gerund Metcalf, a grammarian from Bob Jones University, explains the critical difference between the phrases “act of terror” and “terrorist act”.

Professor Gerund Metcalf, a grammarian from Bob Jones University, explains the critical difference between the phrases “act of terror” and “terrorist act”.

New York—Chief among Fox News’ denouncements of President Obama’s foreign policy has been his response to the attack on the Libyan consulate, which resulted in the deaths of four Americans, including ambassador Chris Stevens. According to the right-wing cable news network, the president misrepresented the attack on the consulate from day one when, during a Rose Garden speech, he labeled it an “act of terror”.

Appearing on Fox News with Sean Hannity, grammarian Gerund Metcalf of Bob Jones University claimed that calling the attack an “act of terror” is definitely not the same as calling it a “terrorist act,” which, as more evidence comes to light, it seems to have been. “For one thing, the phrase the president used contained the word ‘of’,” Professor Metcalf pointed out, “while ‘terrorist act’ clearly does not.”

Metcalf further explained that “terror” can only be used correctly as a noun, whereas “terrorist”, being a far scarier and more duplicitous word, can function both as a noun and an adjective. “So really what the president did by choosing the word “terror” instead of “terrorist” was to diminish the complexity—and, therefore, the seriousness—of the entire situation,” Metcalf said.

Fox News host Sean Hannity asked for clarification. “So, if, for example, I admitted that each thing that comes out of my mouth is a ‘statement of idiocy’, that’s not the same as, say, Bill Maher calling it an ‘idiotic statement’.”

Professor Metcalf told Hannity that he was correct, that he would in fact be guilty of making only statements of idiocy, not idiotic statements. “Cool,” said Hannity. “I can live with that.”

In other news, Mitt Romney, appearing to contradict his prior condemnation of President Obama’s handing of Benghazi, said that supporting the president during a time of international crisis should be considered an “act of patriotism.” Romney presidential campaign senior advisor Eric Fehrnstrom was quick to point out, however, that doing so would not be a “patriotic act”.

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One Response to “Fox News Admits Statements of Idiocy, Not Idiotic Statements”

  1. Elem Says:

    I dunno. As a fellow ad-guy who hates evhnyteirg, I’m liking Cain more and more – as if he might actually be a true genius who is simply ahead of his time (by only about 3 minutes or so, but hey…) – not unlike those Skittle spots that somehow got sold…

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