Upset With White House Lunch Entrée, Romney Leaves 13% Tip

Romney eats crowWashington, DC — Mitt Romney finally got to the White House today, but it was a far cry from the triumphant entrance he dreamed of making prior to the presidential election. Arriving for his lunch with President Obama in a Cadillac SUV, Mr. Romney was greeted not by the president himself or by any senior staffer. Instead the former GOP presidential candidate turned private citizen was welcomed by an intern who was probably not even born by the time Romney made his third hundred million.

Yet Romney acted more stunned than miffed by the strange protocol. “I was prepared to slip whatever senior staffer greeted me a Benjamin. But when this kid shows up, who’s young enough to be my granddaughter, I didn’t know what to do,” he later said. “So I gave her a quarter and patted her on the head.”

Little did Romney know his White House reception would be the highpoint of his visit. When he finally made it to President Obama’s private dining room, he had to wait for more than an hour for the president to show up. Then, after some pleasantries were exchanged, the president was served fillet mignon, while Mr. Romney was given crow.

Thinking that being a good guest might help to repair his plutocratic, screw-the-47% image, Romney proceeded to eat the crow, which he reported tasted very much like chicken. Still, the symbolism was not lost on Romney and, as a consequence, he insisted on paying for the meal so he could demonstrate his disapproval by leaving a mere 13% tip.

As for the issues, if any, the president and Mr. Romney discussed, neither man has revealed anything as yet. White House Press Secretary Jay Carney did say, however, that while a return visit for the former GOP standard-bearer is no more likely than a cabinet position, the FBI does plan to contact Mr. Romney about an ashtray that mysteriously disappeared from the Oval Office. The ashtray bears the presidential seal.

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3 Responses to “Upset With White House Lunch Entrée, Romney Leaves 13% Tip”

  1. Joanne Dixon Says:

    Somehow I doubt that crow tastes much like chicken, and I’ll bet it’s a lot tougher. But then, truthiness has never been Mr. Romney’s forte. 🙂

  2. danbbrown Says:

    You’re right, Joanne, on both accounts. It sure would have been fun though to be a fly on the wall at the real lunch between the president and Mr. Romney. I love how the president praised Romney for doing a good job with the Olympics, subtly suggesting that he hasn’t done a good job with anything since.

  3. danbrown Says:

    Thanks, Tory. I hope you old roommate enjoys the post. And that both of you will continue to follow this blog.

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