House Republicans Oppose Outrage When Teens Are Slaughtered

Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) said he was unmoved by the testimony of parents of students who died in the Virginia Tech massacre on April 16, 2007.

Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) was unmoved by the testimony of parents of students who died in the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007.

Washington, DC — The House Republicans voted unanimously today to oppose being outraged when school children over the age of 9 are slaughtered by assault weapons. Democrats, on the other hand, voted unanimously in favor of being outraged. Privately, some Dems even admitted outrage when inner-city teens died at the hands of gunmen.

While acknowledging that the Sandy Hook tragedy should be motivation enough to begin putting modest gun control reforms in place — universal background checks, for example — Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), speaking for his GOP colleagues, said, “When 6, 7, 8 — heck, when 9 year olds die at the hand of some deranged psycho nutjob, we must act to prevent such heinous crimes from happening in the future.”

When asked why 6 to 9 year olds had to die before Congress acted, Congressman Gohmert grew testy. “There ain’t a soul on this planet who has lived under the roof with a teenager who hasn’t wished at some point in time that that teenager was good and dead,” he said sharply. “You know it. I know it. The whole goddamned world knows it. All life is sacred, to be sure. But some lives are simply more sacred than others.” When the Virginia Tech massacre was brought up, Gohmert said the same rule of thumb applied to college students. “A bunch of smartasses, all of ‘em,” he said, “who think they know more than their parents and me. Mind you, there’s been time aplenty when I wanted to pop a few of ‘em myself.”

Gohmert was not alone, as Republican Congressmen and Congresswomen present and past were quick to line up behind him. Said firebrand Allen West, former Florida GOP Congressman, now a spokesperson for the American Nazi Party, “Republicans aren’t easily outraged,” he said with a shrug. “I’m not going to apologize for that.”

House Speaker John Boehner said that he will introduce a bill next week to establish a permanent memorial for the 20 school children who died at Sandy Hook, but was clear that the names of the six adults who died in the massacre would not appear on the memorial plaque. “Reminding people that adults also died that day would dilute the tragedy,” he explained, brushing away a tear.

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2 Responses to “House Republicans Oppose Outrage When Teens Are Slaughtered”

  1. Joanne Says:

    Very funny, and very consistent with the platform! Glad to see a new post.

  2. danbrown Says:

    Thanks, Joanne! Pretty dark, I know. But something I’ve felt for a long time and needed to be said. I’ll be posting on a regular basis again now that my blog has its own identity. I appreciate your ongoing support very much.

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