Posts Tagged ‘Affordable Care Act’


GOP Votes to Cut Vermont From Union As Healthcare Costs Drop

Friday, April 5th, 2013
As healthcare costs fall in Vermont due to Obamacare, House Speaker John Boehner led a vote to rescind Vermont statehood.

As healthcare costs fall significantly in Vermont due to Obamacare, House Speaker John Boehner led a vote to rescind Vermont statehood.

Washington, DC — Dealt a major blow to their ongoing effort to repeal the Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obamacare), the US House of Representatives voted along party lines, 232 to 200, to oust Vermont from the union. Speaking for the Republican majority, House Speaker John Boehner called the vote “a victory for America, specifically American insurance companies.”

The vote came early today, after a report revealed that the 2014 proposed rates filed by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Vermont and MVP Healthcare — the two companies selected to provide coverage on the state’s exchange — would be less than small employers currently pay.

In fact, under the proposed 2014 pricing, the monthly premium for a small company covering seven employees and their dependents would drop from $12,800 to $10,000 per month, a savings of $33,600 per year. What’s more, most plans include better benefits for the money. House Speaker Boehner found this troubling.

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Boehner, Republicans Plan To Cure Inflexibility With Yoga

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013
Congressman Paul Ryan (R-WI) and other Republicans vow to cure their unpopular inflexibility problem with yoga.

Congressman Paul Ryan (R-WI) and other Republicans vow to cure their unpopular inflexibility problem with yoga.

Washington, D.C. — A Gallup Poll published on April 1, which apparently is no joke, found that the major criticism of today’s Republican party is that it is “too inflexible.” Most surprising about the results is that more Republicans than Democrats listed this as the main quality they dislike about the GOP — by 26% to 22%.

“It’s a definitely a wake-up call for Republicans,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). “And one we plan to address with the same sense of urgency we apply to America’s other pressing problems.”

Boehner said that since the party began moving inexorably to the right in the 1990s, the GOP has become adept at tying itself in knots. However, he conceded that having the flexibility to do that was of little value if they required the Jaws of Life to undo the damage.

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Undecided Voter To Car Guy Romney: Show Me The MITTFAX!

Saturday, October 27th, 2012
An Ohio man, concerned about the Mitt Romney’s total lack of transparency and candor, wants the presidential candidate to “Show Me The MITTFAX!”

An Ohio man, concerned about the Mitt Romney’s total lack of transparency and candor, wants the presidential candidate to “Show Me The MITTFAX!”

Columbus, OH—As the presidential campaign heads into its final spin cycle, undecided voters in battleground states are demanding that Mitt Romney “Show Me The MITTFAX!” Up to now, Romney has managed to go further and longer than any presidential candidate in history while providing almost no detailed information about himself or his policies.

On the economy Romney has promised a 20% across-the-board tax cut that would add $5 trillion to the deficit. Romney has said this is not true because he said it was not true, but has offered zero information about what deductions or programs he would eliminate to offset the $5 trillion.

In the area of healthcare, Romney has repeatedly said that he would repeal and replace Obamacare, but has yet to say what he would replace it with. The only detail he has provided is that his plan would cover pre-existing conditions. But what he has failed to say audibly is that his plan would only provide such coverage if a policyholder had continuous coverage. This provision has already been law—since 1998. (more…)

Supreme Court Rules 5 to 4 Constitution Is Unconstitutional

Monday, July 9th, 2012
King Mitt I of Utah

Mitt Romney hopes to return America to its royal glory days.

Washington, DC—Feeling intense pressure from the right to mend its ways since its recent liberal-leaning decisions to strike down most of Arizona’s immigration law and to uphold the Affordable Care Act, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that the US Constitution is unconstitutional, essentially dissolving our form of government and, with it, the scourge of socialism.

The immediate impact of the decision was relatively minor, however, since the Republican-led House has done virtually nothing for two years. Only one piece of legislation—the Barton-Pearce Drilling Act—has been passed since John Boehner took hold of the Speaker’s gavel in 2010. The legislation, which would have allowed oil companies to drill in Mrs. Obama’s White House vegetable garden, died in the Democratic-controlled Senate.

It looked for a while as if the Second Amendment—the Right to Bear Arms—would survive, but in the end even that was cast out. The court decided that the matter of arming paranoid, sadistic idiots with assault weapons should best be left to the states governed by paranoid, sadistic idiots who oppose the assault weapons ban. (more…)