Posts Tagged ‘LGBT Issues’


Supreme Court Mandates New Signage For Public Restrooms

Monday, April 1st, 2013
In an effort to curb unwanted same-sex sexual advances, new restrooms will group gay men with straight women and gay women with straight men.

In an effort to curb unwanted same-sex sexual advances, new restrooms will group gay men with straight women and gay women with straight men.

Washington, DC — In a decision that has sign manufacturers scrambling to meet an unprecedented demand, the Supreme Court voted to uphold an Iowa restaurant’s right to divide their restrooms in a way that the owner’s lawyer argued was “more in keeping with the times.” The vote was 5 to 4, with Justice Kennedy siding with the court’s conservative wing.

The new restrooms will still be twofold. However, gay men will now share one facility with straight women and gay women will share the other with straight men. “The principle that applies here,” said Herman Watts, the restaurateur’s attorney, “cannot be found in any law book. I’m talking about the law of attraction. No straight guy wants to take a leak with a homosexual in the next urinal gawking at his junk. And no straight women can feel completely comfortable with a dyke in the next stall who wants to jump her bones.”

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